Suicide Run

Kalix – Boden   89.8 kms   947’ ascent.

Well, it has to be said, summer is here. Not just a whimper but a full grown shout. The entire population has donned shorts and tee shirts (or, in some cases even less clothing) presumably in an endeavour to transform the pasty white of winter into a glowing tan for summer. We, ourselves, are somewhat bemused. We had not expected to search the bottom of our bags for summer gear quite so soon, in fact, not really until we had left Sweden.  Anyway, clothed in shorts and shirts we left our very posh apartment and set off for Ranea. We knew this would involve some 15 or so kms along the E4 and that this would be a challenge. It was a terrifying ordeal! Imagine, if you will, a single lane motorway with a wire crash barrier on the offside and about enough room on the nearside for a thin sheet of paper. Well, we were that paper! It was even impossible to ride along the white line as it was a rumble strip(not the UK ribbed white paint but 2cm deep runnels cut out of thesurface)  which loosened fillings and rattled what little sense we had left. Lorries thundered past at 110kms (70mph) filling the carriageway and unable to give us any clearance. An extra wide load approached from behind, horns blaring. Desperate to change underwear as Ranea hove into view, well the exit anyway, and with a sense of profound relief we rode into town. You might think this heralded the end of the problems – wrong again. Having failed to locate anything remotely resembling accommodation of any sort, and after a particularly vicious mosquito attack on Alan’s legs, we had little choice but to move on – again!

At this point the terrors struck. The only way on was another 8 kms along the road of death, followed by another 35kms to reach the next campsite. Somehow we survived our duel with the lorries who vied with each other to see who could get the closest to these insane cyclists. Fortunately, despite their best efforts, we eventually reached our exit. Trembling  with relief and, armed with the knowledge that we should never have to undergo that experience again, we finally stopped for a very late lunch and about half a gallon of liquid.

The next 35 kms were a very pleasant anti-climax, but, by now, VERY HOT. “It should be cooling off with the evening,” quoth  Alan,  forgetting that there is no evening!

Boden finally materialised and, having followed campsite signs which circumnavigated the entire town, by supper time we were in our shed (a very nice shed with sauna again) eating an instant fish pie and making plans to take the morrow off from riding, do the washing (in a machine!) and service the trailers, (Alan’ is squeaking a bit) replenish stores and find a bank. Maybe, even sunbathe. Mmm, maybe not.

Alan’s Boring Bits – EV7 Route Notes

We have not stuck assiduously to the Eurovelo 7 route. Initially there is no choice (one road in and one road out) but when given the option to follow the old postal road out of Alta, we opted for the tarmac. Some of the trail was still being used by snow mobiles! We also chose to spend a couple of extra days on the Finnish side of the border s as we had seen the other side of the river on the way up.

Those planning to travel light and not carry camping gear, should be aware that are long stretches (80+kms) of sometimes very exposed countryside without advertised accommodation. The cycle route signs in the north are very faded, I guess because they have spent several winters under snow. Most of the campsites (and some of the hotels) have cabins of various grades and prices but not all were open this early in  the season.

On reaching the sea, the EV7follows the east coast. Some previous riders have loved this part of the route but some have been frustrated by the meandering and some positively frightened by the E4 motorway sections. (One guy even took a sea crossing to Finland to avoid having to use the motorway.) Many of the minor roads are compacted dirt tracks showing the ravages of winter. Having checked out some of the route on the way up by car, we have decided to leave this coastal part of the EV7 and head inland for a while. It may be a mistake but today we bought some t-shirts that say “Just Do It”, so no more procrastination.

Recommended reading :  “Kök & Tvätt - Through Scandinavia on a Tandem” by Neil Gander. Brilliantly funny little book on his journey with Kathryn on the EV7 in Scandavia.

Free Cakes

Hedenasea – Kalix (by mistake) 66.5kms  480’ ascent.

At 1.05 a.m. when I absolutely had to get out of my sleepingbag for a wee, the wind had died and the river was flat, oily calm. (Ideal for cycling!) However, by 7a.m. the wind had returned with a vengeance but was no match for our splendid tent which hardly flapped. The flat river was now a mass of white horses and we looked forward to another day of the wind up our f**** nostrils. So smelly, but well rested, we set off again. Our plan, having fought with our headwind, was to take a turning right after a railway line. It was something of a surprise that the turning existed but it was an unmetalled track which, for our bikes heralded punctures and pain. But for every mishap there is a positive outcome. In this instance, in the shape of a café. In my search for cold, soft drinks, I was met by a smiling lady who spoke no English (and why should she) but who ushered me into the café, where a gentleman who spoke excellent English translated my request. Not only had said man heard of Wales, he had been there, and not just anywhere, but to Merthyr Tydfil! At this point, free cake ended up with the drinks and I wondered whether these folk realised what a positive effect they had on our morale.

So here we are in Kalix, in a delightful riverside apartment which we can enjoy without the requirement of black head nets! (See photo)

Another small question for our followers- Why, when there are tens of thousands of cubic metres of space, does the fly accurately pinpoint ones slightly open mouth? 

Illusions and Mossies

Pello – Hedenasea    87.8 kms  3000’ ascent? (probably a big pressure change – more likely around 500’)

Part 1:  Blue skies, wonderful scenery and a force 5 right up our f**** nostrils! 

Part 2:  Reaching the Arctic Circle and finding a café, not only open, but with a French speaking owner and internet access. Thus we were able to post the blogs of the last few days minus photos. They are still to come, you lucky people.

Part 3: After 80 kms with the f**** wind in our face the longed for sign appeared. Camping and huts just another 2kms. After a thorough search of the next four kilometres no campsite of even the most meagre size had appeared. “It’s near the church.” Alan said knowingly. By the church, a truly magnificent building, was nothing remotely like a campsite. After conferring with a local, the mystery remained but he did point out that there was a shelter some 1kms along a track. There are times when even a shelter has great appeal and this was one of them. So it was to be a wild camp in an idyllic setting. Our skills had lost only a little of their honing and that mostly due to the fact that we no longer bend and stretch with the same level of ease as formerly.  Decent meal having been consumed at Arctic circle, a quick snack and tea plus a small Scotch (only about 1” left)  was all we required before falling asleep to the cries of the corn crakes.  (May well be the wrong spelling).

Hot and Sweaty

Tormasniska – Pello     61.6kms  304’ ascent

This morning dawned, although, I suppose technically it did no such thing having never dusked!  Technicality aside, the storms of yesterday had gone to somewhere else and the skies were clear blue. Scatterings of twigs and a short power cut were the only remnants of the violence. Singing along with the birds we set off for Pello and a fairly short ride. Our unplanned route continued to follow a river glistening in the sun and, with virtually no traffic, was a joy to ride. Summer had returned in no small measure - not exactly shorts and T shirt hot – but lolling on the banks of the river while eating lunch sort of hot.

The scenery underwent a moderate change from all trees , to trees and some pasture; the latter acquired at some considerable effort on the part of the farmers ably assisted by some of the most enormous plant imaginable. We could also detect odour of cow but no beasts were visible. Then it dawned on us that the buildings we thought might be hostels were, in fact, very large cowsheds! This fact was verified when we spotted cows lurching up to the windows awaiting their opportunity to munch the green, green grass which presumably had been very white for a long time.

We think we may have approached Pello from the posh end as, with increasing frequency, we passed some very affluent looking housing hugging the banks of the Tornio, all with their access to the river. Stunning locations on this fine sunny day but might all look different in the winter or not be visible at all!

No hassle finding accommodation in Pello. A perusal of the information board indicated that we had just passed the huts in the woods so we returned the 2 kms to the junction, rode into the woods and located a cabin, complete with its own private sauna! Thankfully, it did also have beds and a kitchen so that we could eat and sleep as well as sweat! I have never quite got the sauna thing but Alan enjoyed perspiring in private.

Tomorrow, I am told, is likely to be a cultural day as we make our way into Sweden. Here’s hoping for more of this summer stuff.

Following Rivers Again

                                                                Just before Midnight

Muonio – Tormasniska (about 15 miles from Kolari along the river) 

97.6kms   530’ascent

Summer made a brief appearance.

Woke to glorious sunshine at about five a.m. which was actually six a.m. Finnish time. Either way it did seem unnecessarily early but, in my confused early morning state, it seemed a good time to greet the new day. By 8.15, or 7.15, depending on time zone, I had even done the shopping!

We bowled along the E8 enjoying this unexpected gift of summer or possibly spring. Either way, the grass was greening and dandelions were unfolding in the warmth. What marvellous plants dandelions are! They really do get everywhere including the ditches alongside the road in Finland. These ditches are designed to prevent surface water collecting on the roads but they seem to attract an eclectic mix of detritus. We both wondered, in passing, why someone had abandoned their pants (as in underwear). Our speculations are probably unprintable.

The Finns had excelled again with the road and we made good time admiring the scenery as we went. You can never have enough of trees! Kolari was to have been our destination and, indeed, we expected to locate a campsite or huts with ease. However, in 24 hours, Finland had gone from half open or half shut, to ful! Undaunted, we spotted a sign sporting a picture of a hut and a fish and a distance of 4.5.km along the Salmon Road. Taking this at its face value(always a mistake) we set off along the road indicated and at 4.5 kms sure enough there was an information board with nothing resembling a campsite. There was a second blue sign though, which informed us of another campsite 27kms hence. Deep breaths, long conversations with various protesting body parts and we pressed onwards. Now sometimes things are just meant to be! At 15kms, Alan spied what had to be a mirage – huts! We located the owner and after some considerable confusion with two different languages, a son appeared and said there was a ‘room’ available and his mother would show us. The room was more like a small apartment on the banks of the river and was stunning. Soon, all was bustle, as this good lady made sure we had all we required which, in her opinion, included a sauna, verandah furniture, a barbeque area complete with wood and the option of a television which we politely declined. And all this for 30 Euros! We paid 60 and, as planned, took the next day as a rest day –sort of. Winds of 25knots had been forecast and they came to pass just as we prepared to cycle 14 km back into Kolari . An hour or so later and with only 20knots we managed to restock our dwindling food supplies.

Hoping for calmer weather tomorrow as we continue our journey along this wonderful detour along the river.

1 Country Down

Enontakio – Muonio    82kms  380’ ascent

Welcome to Finland where, for some reason the clocks are an hour in advance of the adjoining Scandinavian countries. Not only had we to get up an hour early but discovered that this Thursday was like a Sunday in that everything was SHUT again. 

Those of our discerning readers will have noted the lack of ascent achieved today. The Finns, it seems do do flat (well almost) so we have forgiven them the change of time and the day off.

Needless to say the day began with head winds (nothing if not consistent) but with sunshine and few hills we were happy bunnies. By midday the temperature had taken a tumble but the wind also backed down and then inevitably, it rained. However, the combination of recent warmth and rain has transformed the trees and the verges into a Granny Smith apple green.  Flowers, it seems, have yet to proliferate, if indeed they do at all in this challenging climate.

For the first time since leaving Alta, we discovered a café almost half way along our route, which was not only open but provided coffee and a doughnut  for just 50 cents (yes, we are back to Euros)! Mind you, I came out about 14 Euros down having bought postcards and stickers for the bikes. No room for anything else. Clever formula we thought. The rest of the route, as usual, was devoid of anything except trees, lakes, rivers and, of course, the ever present reindeer. And dogs! Why does a dog ignore all road traffic except a bike which it can hear from a distance of some quarter of a mile? More answers on a postcard please. One more comment to all you drivers of fast cars, camper vans and lorries, remember the sixty four year old biddy on the bike might be your grandmother – so give her a bit of dodder room!

Sticking with Finland for tomorrow, hoping the flat road policy continues.

Essential Northern Finland

Santa lives here

Northern Finland is a beautiful  area

A big blue sign with symbols for accommodation and food means that the souvenir shop is open.

Wifi is coming next Wednesday

Thursday can occasionally be a Sunday.

Everything shuts on a Sunday and occasionally a Thursday

Reindeer are less stupid than they are further north but they are still stupid

Locals don’t smile much. When you spend half the year in darkness and the other half covered in mosquitoes, there isn’t much to smile about.

There’s no shortage of trees

Stocking Up

Kautokeino – Enontakio   83.9 km   860’ ascent
Interesting conversation last night with a local Sami lad who spent his early days herding reindeer. The battles they had to maintain their culture, language and way of life are not unfamiliar to so many indigenous peoples   of the world but here the pace of change is very fast. Not so fast is our bike riding.After battling with 30 kilometre winds yesterday we were keen to see what the forecast had in store for today. First impressions were encouraging, for as we opened the curtains, the wind was coming from the north west and it was much less strong. It was forecast to come round to the west which meant it would either be vaguely behind us and then on our right shoulder. We can cope with that! So after a hearty breakfast, we set off, in optimistic mood, for Enontakio. Never quite sure how far it is to the next supermarket, (80kms the longest so far) we stocked up with plenty of goodies at the earliest opportunity.

It has to be said that the Scandinavians don’t do flat as in no ups and no downs so we resumed our roller coaster ride but without the wind. In the sunshine, it was delightful. Spring was in full flourish with buds, birds and butterflies and the inevitable reindeer. In fact Alan had such a close encounter with the latter that he managed a full frontal close-up photo of some very fine specimens. The scenery of the last few days continued to follow us around and can best be described as resembling Llangynidr moor with birch trees(very small ones!) and lots of lakes. The major difference being one of scale. Forget Llangynidr moor and imagine the whole of Wales and more!  I had thought there might be a major change on crossing the border into Finland but it remained defiantly the same until we dropped (yes, we actually went downhill) into areas of coniferous woodland.  Enontakio suddenly appeared with none of the usual plethora of signs on the roadside to warn us of its arrival and so we made the final pull up to our hotel.  After a decent interval (I have discovered that I need a little time to relocate my legs and more importantly, my tongue before I can present myself to receptionists) we booked a room, luxuriated in a shower and went for a meal. Such luxury! Pasta and soup does pall after a while.

On leaving the restaurant , we found ourselves in conversation with an English guy who sells  saw mills to the Finns. He was very grateful for the opportunity to speak  his mother tongue! He explained his situation and we told him of ours. Our social obligation fulfilled, and this blog written means that I can now, with clear conscience, collapse onto my bunk!

Until tomorrow. 

Follow that River - Again

Suoloyuopmia – Kautokeino   80kms  1012’ of ascent

Today was going to be a long day and I was under the misapprehension that we had already reached the high point of this particular plateau. The weather was sunny with blue skies with some wind, as ever, blowing in the wrong direction. After some 20 kms we were ready for our morning coffee. Having found the only café between Suoloyuopmia and Kautokeino shut I hunted out the flask while Alan perused an information board.

“Did you know that the river Alta is 200 kms long and runs from Kautokeino to Alta?”

Now I am not a genius but even I could understand the significance of this casual comment i.e. rivers run downhill and we were riding to its source! Not only that, the wind was increasing in strength (gusting 35 knots) and blowing downriver and straight into our faces. It was a long day. Need I say more.

Follow that River

Alta – Suoloyuopmia   62.5 kms  1480 ‘ ascent.

Before I commence today’s narrative, I must explain that we have just dined on reindeer meat and local trout (not on the same plate!) and quaffed a can of ale each. We thought a well deserved indulgence but the alcohol has had quite a numbing effect.  However, onward with the news of the day.

Alta is probably not one of the must see towns of Norway resembling as it does,  something between lego land (all square and coloured) and a building site. However, it has to be one of the most bike friendly places in the universe. Not only are special tracks provided, but where these cross a road, be it very small or very large, the traffic must (and does) give way! How cool is that. Takes a bit of getting used to as every instinct cries out in panic. Mind you it only needs one foreigner who doesn’t know the rules to cause a massacre. Fortunately not too many strangers visit Alta.

Our campsite was some 10 kilometres to the east of Alta, and after traversing the town we headed into the rain and the wind which had been forecast to be a tail wind! (Weather forecasts, it seems, are the same the world over.) Even after we had turned left the wind remained stubbornly ahead.  We were expecting a day of climbing and we were not to be disappointed. At about 30 kms of an unremarkable ride along the valley floor, the first evidence of nature’s fury appeared in the form of a bridge (well a non bridge actually) which had been washed away to be replaced with a somewhat fragile looking substitute.  Still, 10 ton lorries were not having a problem so what the hell. Our next significant encounter was with a sign informing us that the next 6 kms were at 8% and wiggly to boot. Aargh.  The river running the steep sided  gorge was definitely un-canoeable unless you had a death wish, but was stunning in its ferocity. (Not quite stunning enough to take way the pain of burning lungs and legs but some small compensation.)

The plateau, (hmm, that suggest flat- not so) sported several lakes all still partially iced over with just the first signs of spring. A sudden panic of birdsong and buds determined to reproduce in the very short season! Humankind had joined the melee with roofers and chippies repairing the winter damage on small cabins scattered along the lake side A small sea plane moored next to an unremarkable caravan site, brought a whole new meaning to a weekend away in the caravan.

On reaching our overnight destination, there ensued some confusion with my request for accommodation. I thought that I had articulated my request in my best Oxford English but apparently not, as a very confused looking young man informed me that he spoke only English! I began again with more success and secured rooms and food. The latter I have already commented on and the former is as ever spotlessly clean and warm. Bring on tomorrow although with 24 hour daylight identifying tomorrow can be a challenge.

A Change of Gear

Olderfjord – Alta   100kms  2250’ ascent.

We left our nice warm hutte with some trepidation (or I did anyway) as we thought that we would have to wild camp in view of the longer distance.  Not even my optimism ran to 100 kms towing the equivalent of a Sherman tank even though Alan gallantly strapped the rucksack to his trailer thus reducing mine to a smaller Sherman tank!  After a warm up run of 25 kms, we encountered a service station which provided heat, coffee and a calorie filled chocolate bun. A good move as it turned out.

Then we started to climb, fairly gently, but forever! The plateau we crossed has a name. I don’t know it and the one that I would give it is not suitable for a family blog. It was a huge, as far as the eye could see; just  snow, bog and utter desolation. Alan described it as Arctic and I thought tundra was more appropriate so we have agreed to call it ‘tarctic’. And right at the highest , the most exposed and freezing cold point there appeared a scattering of small buildings complete with a church! In the conditions of the moment, they were being used by the local snow mobile enthusiasts who were apparently running races. After all what else do you do? Barbeques are futile! These guys must be hard as nails and I salute them. Talking of which (saluting I mean) we had many a cheery wave from oncoming traffic and even a photo shot from the only British registered  vehicle we have seen north of the Arctic circle.

After a few hours our coffee and cake hit was on the wane and, with little sign of a change in terrain, Alan located a ditch without snow and just deep enough to give us some shelter from the wind which seemed to have arrived straight from somewhere even colder.  Soggy sandwiches and hot coffee never tasted so good and I shouldn’t have left behind my banana skin, but I did. By now we realised that we had no chance of finding and shelter for anything as huge as a tent so we pedalled on and ..on and…. on.

When finally within reach of Alta, the long expected downhill arrived- 7%. Hurrah and whoopee but exhilaration was short lived as the asphalt ran out after a few hundred metres and we found ourselves on dirt track. How mean is that!  But it was, after all, downhill dirt track. Finally back at fjord level we came upon a campsite just 10 kms short of Alta on the shoreline with huts surrounded by trees. It was one of those half open, half closed sites and as we were deliberating our next move Mr. Cheery Chappie appeared out of the trees, made a phone call, “(Idont like these machines – you have to put all the numbers in the right order!!!!”) gave us a key and we found ourselves the thankful inhabitants of a warm hut.

On a serious note, the day has been emotionally satisfying, as I have the confidence which was previously lacking, that my body would respond positively to this challenge in spite of the previous physical setbacks . I’m sure Alan shares my relief!  So look out Europe here we come!